This week I am publishing one of the most difficult letters I have ever chosen to write. Please note that I used the word ‘chosen’. Much of the subject on my ‘Secrets’ page is about things I have been coerced or even forced into. To write this letter last year was my choice. It was my way of pouring out decades of hurt. Of course I never intended, or intend to post it, but that doesn’t matter. Sometimes, for the benefit of our mental health, we need to face what is tearing us up inside and address the situation or person responsible. I would recommend anybody to do this. It helps. It isn’t an instant fix though, and even as I read it again this week, all the hurt returned. But I realised that the hurt is just not quite as fierce as it was, just a little bit less. Decades of hiding and coping with deep trauma cannot be turned around in the writing of a couple of sides of A4. But the writing is part of the process.
Once again, Can I reiterate that haven’t published any of my experiences to elicit pity, or to cause harm to my abusers. I have written and am publishing my account in the hood that it might be helpful for somebody else, or for somebody you know is struggling. If just one person picks up a pen and writes a similar letter, then it will have been worth it.
Click on my ‘Secrets behind the collar’ page to read me letter, or even to trace back through my posts to read my story.
God bless everyone of you who takes the time.